Inuyasha World Comes Crashing Down
by ClearVision
Summary: A set of random yet hilarious drabbles. Hint of SanxMir and no pairing for Inuyasha...sadly. If you want a laugh, read and review. Basically pointless, and I might add more.
1. A Couple

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in which I now torture…**

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Sango sat patiently by an open flame at dusk polishing her Hiraikotsu with Kirara softly mewing in slumber by her knee. The natural sounds of the quieting village not too far away, and the forest creatures sent a calming atmosphere around the camp, which was only inhabited by the slayer for a while.

Soon enough, a monk dressed in dark purple robes appeared from the village pathway with an abashed look upon his features. Slowly, he approached the taijiya.

Noticing the rustle of Miroku settling in front of her, Sango glanced up from her polishing to give the monk a well-deserved glare. "Where have you been?" She asked, returning her piercing gaze to the sturdy bone in her lap and rubbing it furiously. When the priest didn't answer, the woman began pressing so hard on the weapon that he thought she might break it in two. Her eyes whipped back up to stab him accusingly. "Have you been womanizing _again_?!"

Miroku forced a weak smile and rubbed the back of his neck, "Eh…um…" At his stuttering, the slayer stopped her task to put all her energy into glaring at him. "Dear Sango, my flower…" He pleaded as she stood, picking up to Hiraikotsu threateningly. The monk raised his palms up in a sign of peace, "um, uh…I'm sorry?"

She exploded. "That must be the most _pathetic_ excuse you have _ever _made up!" Spinning around, the taijiya stomped off with her Hiraikotsu in tow.

Miroku got up and rushed after her crying out pleading phrases and then suddenly blurted, "D-does this mean…we're…we're…we're over?" He stuttered recklessly.

Sango abruptly stopped in her tracks and listened to Miroku stumble to a halt not far behind her. The world went quiet in anticipation, then the slayer whirled around, smacked the lecherous monk upside the head and screamed, "WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER, YOU IDOIT!"

The priest laid on the cold, cold ground, and watched Sango saunter away, still fuming.

She'll forgive him tomorrow.

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First chapter up, the next one coming!

-KikyouHater-


	2. Which one? What one?

**Disclaimer: My imagination is mine to command, but I do not own those in which I now harass.**

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Inuyasha strode calmly through his forest, bored. _"When is that damn wench going to get back?"_ he thought and then growled when he remembered that she wasn't due back until tomorrow. "Keh," sighing, the hanyou kicked a rock as he entered a clearing. His nose twitched.

"_Wait a second…"_

Before him stood the very two women he adored. Confused, Inuyasha didn't notice that the priestesses were nose to nose in argument but was just surprised that Kagome was back early. And…

"_Hold, on. Why the hell are the two of them _here_?! Together?!"_ Frustrated and perplexed beyond repair, the half demon quickly approached them.

"Kikyou! Kagome! What-"

Inuyasha began but was interrupted by the first miko, "Inuyasha," she stated emotionlessly. "Finally, now we can settle this."

The two women turned to him with matched glares, and the hanyou suddenly felt something try to come back up from his breakfast that morning._ "Oh, no, not now! They're going to make me choose! I can't do this!"_ The demon had half of an urge to run from the problem, but like all of his other issues, he stupidly stood his ground and attempted to fight his way out. "What? What do you want?" But of course he knew…

"Inuyasha…" Kagome smiled overly sweet as she usually did before she sat him.

He cringed, waiting for the inevitable.

Kikyou took an outrageously slow breath. Or was it just him?

Then they both popped the question.

"Which one of us is prettier?"

Inuyasha's jaw dropped. "_What_, now?!" The two women blinked at him innocently. The hanyou began to back up slowly. "Uhmm…I…you see…" he stuttered, searching their faces, hoping for a sign…"Uh…Kagomeee," the half demon said pleadingly because she was the one who usually felt pity for him in times of trouble. He directed his gaze at the girl wearing futuristic clothing.

Suddenly, the woman's face that he addressed morphed into an expression of confusion and hurt. "Kagome?" She scoffed. "Inuyasha, I'm _Kikyou._" The priestess crossed her arms, glaring at him.

Said hanyou's eyes got wide. "But—but…she…" he pointed to the woman dressed in feudal-era clothing. "Kikyou…you? Uhm…but…I…" Absolute terror and confusion spread across his features. Looking at the now supposed "Kagome", the demon sought help. "Kikyou! She's lying. You're Kikyou, right? Right?" He frantically gripped her shoulders and pointed to the woman in future clothes. His eyes became wild as she looked at him as if he was from another planet.

"No, Inuyasha, I'm Kagome. She's not lying."

Letting go of the now "Kagome", he grabbed his hair and attempted to rip it out of his scalp. "GAAH!! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" He screamed, looking back and forth between the two women. "No…" Unexpectedly, the hanyou spun around and ran into the forest yelling and shouting, for all he was worth.

Behind him, the two priestesses exchanged looks and began laughing.

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Naughty, naughty, Kikyou! I would have never expected that from her!

Now Kagome, I can, but Kikyou…? Really.

-KikyouHater-


	3. The Village

**Disclaimer: I am cruel to the expected. But I do not own those who I use to carry out that deed.**

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One sunny afternoon, Inuyasha and company trudged into a village, obviously exhausted and spent.

"Pleeeaaase, Inuyasha! We're all tired. We haven't even stopped since morning!" Kagome begged the hanyou to let them stay in the village for a while before they carried on. He desperately tried to ignore her sweet face and imploring eyes, but it was too much. He gave in.

"Alright, alright. Just stop your yapping." Inuyasha scolded half-heartedly. Soon enough the group managed to conjure up a place to stay with a nice old man, when they all noticed something.

"Have you seen any village women, Sango?" Shippo asked from his perch on Kagome's shoulder. "All I see and smell are men."

Sango nodded then shrugged. "Sometimes, Shippo, it's in a people's culture to live separate from the women." The fox demon hummed his understanding and hopped down from the young miko's shoulder once they all entered the small hut.

After a moment of chatting nonchalantly, Inuyasha got up to gather some fire wood since "it seems like we're gonna be lazy asses and sleep here", and Miroku suspiciously offered to get some more rations from their host.

Kagome, Shippo, and Sango exchanged confused glances. "But, houshi," the slayer said, "we've got plenty in Kagome's bag."

The monk waved her off, mumbling something about needing more anyway and left the hut. A little later than a moment or two, Kagome spoke up to Sango who hadn't moved from her spot to follow the priest.

"Aren't you going after him, Sango?" she asked worriedly.

The taijiya gave her friend a confused look. "Why should I? There are no women for him to be perverted around. Maybe he just needed some time alone."

In a distracted manner, Kagome poked the fire. "Uhm…it wasn't the village women I'm worried about, Sango."

The slayer's brows furrow even more.

"It's the village men."

Suddenly, Sango stood and hefted the Hiraikotsu to her shoulder. Gasping, she thanked her friend. "You're right."

And with that, she was out the door.

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The End!

Heh, heh, heh. Oh-so-wrong…

-KikyouHater-


End file.
